Meet Heidi Sgorzelski Kohut , she has been sober since 08/16/2012
This is her incredible story of survival!
I started drinking 20 years ago and it only got progressive the more I
drank -- at the age of 7 I remember going to Ireland for a trip to see
family and I got physically molested and kept it a secret from my mom as
I was told not to say anything and then again molested a year later in
my hometown -- sitting down at the breakfast table at the age of 16 and
my parents turned to me and said YOUR ADOPTED! My heart sank and I
couldn't understand where or what happened to my birth parents? I
remember asking if I could be excused and I ran into the shower and Sat
in a fetal position and cried like no baby ever cried!!!! I wasn't given
any answers at that time about where my birth parents were -- I started
getting curious about alcohol and so I started sneaking alcohol out of
my dad's liquor cabinet and I can still feel my first drunk (that brandy
)slowly making me feel all numb and the pain of everyday worries were
gone.
I continued at night sneaking a bottle or 2 of beer
into my bedroom and I felt like I was on top of the world. I took it as
far as getting drunk during school hours in grade 9 and being suspended
-- the entire school knew and I was devastated!!! I hid from my best
friend cuz I didn't want her to know how stupid I was as I loved her
friendship so much -- in my late teens I was hit with another bombshell
that my godfather died!!! I was so lost and being at his funeral was
heartbreaking as they played pipe bags during his service and that's
what he used to do , was play bagpipes for me I missed him blowing on
my cheek every time I would see him -- he was gone.
Soon
after that my father had a stroke and was in a wheelchair and I had to
see him go thru the depression of him losing his independence -- I was
daddy's girl and he was my world and he was down for the count with a
stroke and colon problems -- my adoptive mother was then diagnosed with
breast cancer and died within a year -- holding her hands in the
hospital as she slowly drifted away was the outmost worst thing I had to
experience at a young age -- I suffered miscarriages after that and the
drinking progressed -- my dad a few years after his second stroke and I
completely lost myself -- sitting in my empty house all alone -- seeing
my dad's empty chair and his sweater -- I started experimenting with
drugs a bit -- starting losing my soul didn't care who I was around as
long as I wasn't alone -- I met my birth mother a few short months after
my adoptive mother died and it finally felt like some of my pieces of
my puzzles were coming together -- found my birth father and we met once
and he never contacted me again -- I was once again torn apart !!!!
Thinking why???? I got my first DUI and then my second shortly after --
in my 30's I got married and had 2 beautiful children but still broken I
continued my path of self-destruction -- I soon was into hard drugs and
started spending days away from home. Lost my family - my house- my
kids- my pets- my husband - everything was gone because I only cared
about getting drunk and high -- it took me to places I never thought I
would of gone - living on the streets/ drinking water out of puddles/
eating berries off of bushes cuz I had no food / street feet cuz I had
no shoes/ being attacked by a man that bit my entire nose off cuz he
tried to rape me and I have since had 8 reconstructive surgeries / and
yes he went to jail 4 1/2 years. I caused so much pain to my family and
my friends but who I really hurt was my soul !!!
One day , I
had a friend of mine tell me that I should go for hep c treatment
because I had contracted it from a homemade needle -- so something told
me to BELIEVE in myself so I started treatment and within 4 weeks I
cleared the virus!!! I was in shock and disbelief and thought why was I
given that gift after all the pain I caused the world ??? I left that
medical office and I reached up into the sky and said ," thank you god"
and right then and there I had a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING!! Something
happened that day and so I thought I'm gonna try my best to get sober so
I put myself in a step group, got myself a sponsor, contacted my local
church and worked very hard on completing my 12 steps. My life today is
incredible - I have my kids- my family- I'm engaged to my soul mate and
my friends back in my life. But most important I have HEIDI BACK !!! No
more tears and no more what the hell did I do last night? I look in the
mirror every day and I say I love you and who you have become. I'm free
and at peace!!! If it wasn't for alcohol anonymous I would be dead and
I'm so grateful and humble I'm not alone because I have you and I have
MY GOD!!!!
